Don't ask me why, but I was browsing the Yahoo News Fashion faux pas thing. Usually these pictures show famous people wearing garish ensembles and you're like, "Ouch, that outfit looks painful." Every so often you see one that doesn't look THAT bad, and seriously, fashion is in the eye of the beholder. I wouldn't want someone judging my clothes every time I walked out of the house, but then I'm a teacher, so I get a break from the fashion critique over the summer.
But then there's this one...
And the fashion faux pas is...?
According to the guy commenting on the fashions, "Did Audrina lose her AmEx? It looks like the reality TV "star" and her bearded boy toy Justin Bobby went clothes shopping at the Salvation Army ... not Saks Fifth Avenue."
Oh, ho, ho...so it's a fashion mistake to dress...normal? That's twigi...
Have you ever paid close attention to the information you can find on frozen food packages? Have you thought about this information? It can be very peculiar. Take, for instance, Bundinos, possiblt the most bizarre I've found. It's nothing particularly strange, I suppose. There's nothing especially odd about the ingredients. But the package comes with nine little Bundinos. What makes it odd is that they tell us 4 Bundinos make a serving. Do that math. The only way to eat that equitably in more than one sitting is eating 3 Bundinos...or what they are probably hoping for...buying more boxes so that you don't have loose, random Bundinos. 12 would be the perfect number. Then people who wanted to eat less would have equal portions. If you wanted more than a serving, as I admittedly tend to desire (serving sizes don't make any sense to me), then you could eat 6.
But that's not, really, the twigiest thing about the Bundinos. I looked on all 6 surfaces of the box and the Bundinos come with no oven instructions. None. They only tell you how to cook in the microwave. What in the world? I prefer cooking frozen food in the over, and they don't even give me that option! I appreciate how quick and easy the microwave is, but come on, some of us are willing to wait.
But then frozen food preparation instructions are generally pretty twigi. They all warn you that "cooking times may vary" depending upon your individual microwave. But my experience is that they always vary. The instructed microwave times are, the majority of the time for me, too short. I don't ever have to put food back in the oven after the allotted time.
I did cook the Bundinos in the oven I think about 20 minutes and they were great.
A 17-Year-Old got decapitated at Six Flags Over Georgia amusement park.
That's a news story no one wants to read. Tragic.
"Six Flags officials are uncertain why the unidentified 17-year-old from Columbia, S.C. scaled two six-foot fences and passed signs that said the restricted area was both off-limits and dangerous to visitors..." - SC Teen struck, killed by Six Flags coaster in Ga., by Mike Strobbe, The State.
Now it's still tragic, but also stupid. What was that kid thinking?
Early reports said that he was going to retrieve a hat. Later "authorities said the rising senior at Columbia’s Keenan High School was taking a shortcut back into Six Flags Over Georgia after leaving for lunch with other children during a church outing." - Teen was taking shortcut back to park, by Clif LeBlanc, The State
LeBlanc's article again mentions the warning signs. I am very sorry for this child's death and I feel for his family's loss. Here's where the twiginess comes in...
"State Labor Commissioner Michael Thurmond said the park must make signs bigger, post more of them and add the words 'extreme danger' within 10 days. " - Six Flags ordered to increase safety signs, The State
Why is that twigi? Well, we know the boy scaled two fences...having to get somewhere by scaling fences is usually a sign in and of itself that you are going somewhere you shouldn't be going. It's been repeated over and over that he scaled fences that had signs on them. I'm not so sure more, larger signs that quantify how much danger is beyond them would have prevented anything. And it sounds like Six Flags did something wrong. In the same article, it says "Thurmond says the park met all other safety standards." Thurmond is the State Labor Commissioner. "All other" makes it seem like Six Flags did not meet the safety standard of warning signs. But in the FoxNews article Georgia Six Flags Batman Ride That Decapitated Teen Reopens, With Changes states, "State Labor Commissioner Michael Thurmond says the park met all safety standards but the state has issued new requirements."
So, it's not the park, it's the state. The state of Georgia's safety requirements weren't adequate. But weren't they? Again, I posit that 6,000 bigger signs saying "Certain Death Awaits You" would not have prevented this. The only thing to prevent this sort of thing is common sense, because common sense tells you that scaling two fences to an area underneath a rollercoaster is a bad idea.
The twigiest part of this is the line in both The State's and FoxNews's articles, "scaled two fences and wandered into a restricted area, where he was struck by the roller coaster in Austell" and "scaled two fences and wandered into a restricted area where he was decapitated by the roller coaster." Nearly identical sentences with the same oxymoron. How do you "scale two fences" and "wander" at the same time? Wandering means "to move about without a fixed course, aim, or goal" according to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary. He had a course, an aim, and a goal...Without those, the fences would have been deterrant enough. His goal was to scale the fences and get to the other side. "Wander" makes it sound like he really didn't know where he was. He did. Two fences and some signs told him.
This reminds me of Denis Leary's bit about the guy who wanted to make the warning on cigarette packs bigger. I couldn't find a vid of Leary doing the routine, but someone did an animation to Leary's words. Not very good, to be honest, but it allows me to play it for you. It goes into "I'm an Asshole" afterwards, so it's up to you if you keep watching.
If you want to know how insane things are becoming, all you have to do is see what people take to court. Like Richard Overton in 1991 who attempted to sue Anheuser-Busch for false advertising since, when he drank a Bud, he didn't lind himself surrounded by sexy women. And Cleanthi Peters who sued Universal Studios because thair Halloween Horror Nights haunted house was too scary and caused emotional distress. Of course, there are all the lawsuits surrounding music, movies, and video games causing people to do violent things, but even stranger was Edward Brewer who sued Providence Hospital because its security failed to prevent him from raping a patient and it caused him mental anguish.
I'll admit the new member of that illustrious group of plaintiffs isn't as obviously wrong, but Macrida Patterson does fit into that group. Macrida was putting on a Victoria's Secret thong when a staple holding a heart on the side popped and the staple ricocheted and hit her eye. It actually doesn't sound unreasonable until you find out she's worn the thong a few times before, so it's also (hopefully) been washed.
Let's see what Macrida has to say from the Today Show...
I also have to wonder in this lawsuit whether or not the thong was the appropriate size for Macrida. If she bought a thong too small, or it was the correct size, but he had gained weight since its purchase, and it's been worn twice before at least and washed, then I'm thinking this is operator responsibility. I mean, I don't think that staple is going to shoot off with enough force to do any harm unless it was put under more pressure than its recommended operating pressure.
Also, I tend to follow the "Shit-Happens" theory to life. Sometimes shit happens...that doesn't mean, in this case, the product is defective. Sometimes random stuff just happens and it's nobody's fault.
Let's say you have a daughter. Your daughter, or son, has been continuously breaking home rules. Her latest infraction has been getting on the computer without permission, going to websites that you blocked, and posting inappropriate pictures of herself on the webs. Then a school trip gets mentioned...one where you need to sign your permission for her to go. So, as punishment for her intentional breach of house rules, you refuse to let her go on the trip.
BUT...
Darling daughter will not fade quietly into grounding. She actually gets a lawyer to sue her father for the right to go on thie field trip. Ok, at this point I'm wondering why any lawyer would even mess with this. I mean, surely wouldn't even be allowed to take up court time. But alas, it gets taken to court. But surely no judge would see it as the court's place to determine the appropriateness of parental discipline short of actual abuse. But alas, a judge overturns a father's punishment.
That judge has taken every bit of parental power away from this father. This 12-year-old who already has trouble following the rules now can do ANYTHING! A 12-year-old Canadian girl is now in control of her raising. I wouldn't be surprised if the father just wiped his hands and let her go down the path to ruin. Not necessarily out of anger, but because of a feeling of futility. What's the point of trying to stop her from doing anything.
Ok, I'll be honest...I'm tempted to talk about the Going-Down-Hill-ary Clinton camp blaming Obama about Hillary's comment about Robert Kennedy's assassination, blah, blah, blah...But I'm trying to leave her alone, so let's talk Libertarians...
The Libertarians have a candidate now...Bob Barr...Looks pretty respectable and decent. When was the last time we had a president with facial hair though? As a bearer of facial hair, I think it'd be cool, but don't worry, I won't vote for facial hair alone.
So, why, you ask, is Bob and the Libertarians being featured on TWIGI? It doesn't have anything to do with them...it has to do with us, the American people. Bob, and possibly Wayne Allan Root as VP, should have a reasonable shot at the White House. He's a former Republican who criticized Bill Clinton and was one of the prosecutors in Clinton's impeachment. All of that should appeal to fence sitting Republicans who are unhappy with the party.
He's also for getting out of Iraq. He's against same sex marriages, but opposes the Federal Marriage Amendment, so at least he's willing to keep the federal government out of it. He voted for the Patriot Act only AFTER a sunset clause was added making it terminate without a Legislative vote AND regrets voting for the thing at all, and he added pro-civil liberty amendments to Clinton's 1995 Anti-Terrorism Act. He supports repealing the 16th Amendment which gives Congress the power to levy income tax. So he should have some appeal with liberals.
But as the CNN article states, Libertarians haven't been able to pull 400,000 votes. The Libertarians, and possibly some other third parties, should really have a shot...but people seem more inclined to not vote at all than to vote for someone other than a Democrat or Republican. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is twigi.
It turns out that Mother's Day started 100 years ago. Anna Jarvis, who started Mother's Day in 1908, apparently would be appalled by what Mother's Day has become. Actually, she wished she hadn't started it after it had been going for 40 years. But then that's the way, isn't it? Any good idea quickly becomes commercialized. That's why Arbor Day is almost unheard of, while the more recent creation, Earth Day, gets a nice amount of attention. If you can sell a card for it, you have a winner. Anyway, here's an article on the 100th anniversary from the local publication. Mother's Day Celebration Reaches 100th Anniversary.
And, of course, we all know mother's deserve to earn money for their hard work. According to a recent survey, it was determined that mother's should earn $138,000. So, I propose legislation for motherhood to become a goverment paid job with pay being greater or less than the $138,000 figure based on individual mother efforts and success rates.
A bit of trivial irony before signing off...Anna Jarvis never married and never had children.
Keep the twigi on low today in honor of all of our mothers.
Welcome to the T.W.I.G.I. blog brought to you by Evil Genius Comics: when you're done reading how the world is going nuts, join us and read comic book reviews, horror movie reviews, & buy excellent t-shirts & gifts!
The Libertarians have a candidate now
