The World Is Going Insane
Welcome to TWIGI!
What's that? You don't know what TWIGI is? Well, pull up a seat while I explain...
See, it all started when I noticed that I kept saying the same thing and thinking the same thing when I discovered certain news stories and feature articles. These stories and articles would be about something so bizarre that I would declare, "The world is going insane!" That phrase became so common for me that I decided I needed to condense it into one brief exclamation and that word is "twigi," which stands for, you guessed it, The World Is Going Insane. So something that is twigi is something which demonstrates in some fashion how we, as a collective world, are losing our grips on what a reasonable reality should be. So, this will not be about one person doing something crazy and everyone going, "That's crazy!" As long as most of us can recognize it as crazy, insane, and nutso, then it is not twigi. But when something happens or someone does something insane and everyone seems ok with it...That is twigi.
For example, earlier this week I heard about how Fulton County schools, in Georgia, want to pay students to attend a one hour after-school tutoring program. They will receive $8.oo for the hour with bonuses if their grades improve. That, my friends, is twigi. Article
See, first, tutoring is an act which gets paid for because the tutee is gaining something from the tutor.
Second, I've heard of parents doing the money reward for grades and I think that's twigi too. The money students will get for their grades comes after they get a job with the education they received. And if your children won't take school seriously, you can pay them...with punishment. Take those cell phones and ipods and game systems away. That TV in their room? Gone! Take everything but books, paper, and pencil away, take away the excursions with their friends to the movies, the mall, wherever, take it all, until those grades come back up. Then they can get more than the books, paper, and pencil.
Another item I heard over the radio was about how women are starting to have their bride's maids in their wedding sign Wedding Party Contracts dictating, among the possibilities, a guarantee of no weight gain, a promise to not change hair style, and a promise to not get too liquered up. Hold the stagecoach princess, let me 'splain somethin' here...It may be your wedding day, but that don't make you Lady High Mistress of my life! If you can't trust me, then I shouldn't even be invited, much less in the wedding party. And that's why it's twigi. Why can't they be responsible for their own bride's maid dresses? Who cares if they doing something different with their hair? Trust them enough to not get toasted and start slurring on about all the men you screwed in college. If you can't? Well, you need better friends.
Last twigi news story for this week...a man received 18 years for killing his girlfriend. It's not what he did that makes this news story twigi, it's that it took two years before they prosecuted him...if he was in jail all that time and was innocent, that's wrong. If he was loose and was guilty, that's wrong. Do it quick, get it over with. The fact that he drove around with his grilfriend's body in the trunk of his car, beat her to death with a bat, and was found guilty of MANSLAUGHTER because he was defending himself from his girlfriend, makes it twigi. See, the story is that she attacked him with a fireplace poker, and he retaliated with a bat. Chances are, one hit with the bat wouldn't kill someone in most cases, and worse, the fireplace poker which he was assaulted with was sitting neatly in its stand. So he beat his girlfriend with a bat because that was the only way he could defend himself, and after he killed her, in self-defense because I'm sure she just kept lunging with that poker after each whack of the bat, he then neatly placed the poker in the stand, and loaded the body into his trunk...but it was all self-defense...Now, that's twigi.
Well, thank you for checking out TWIGI. If you agree the world is going insane, then come by next week as I share more evidence that the world is, in fact, going insane. My feature discussion will be about the Presidential Primaries. In TWIGI We Trust: Our Growing Twigiocracy.
What's that? You don't know what TWIGI is? Well, pull up a seat while I explain...
See, it all started when I noticed that I kept saying the same thing and thinking the same thing when I discovered certain news stories and feature articles. These stories and articles would be about something so bizarre that I would declare, "The world is going insane!" That phrase became so common for me that I decided I needed to condense it into one brief exclamation and that word is "twigi," which stands for, you guessed it, The World Is Going Insane. So something that is twigi is something which demonstrates in some fashion how we, as a collective world, are losing our grips on what a reasonable reality should be. So, this will not be about one person doing something crazy and everyone going, "That's crazy!" As long as most of us can recognize it as crazy, insane, and nutso, then it is not twigi. But when something happens or someone does something insane and everyone seems ok with it...That is twigi.
For example, earlier this week I heard about how Fulton County schools, in Georgia, want to pay students to attend a one hour after-school tutoring program. They will receive $8.oo for the hour with bonuses if their grades improve. That, my friends, is twigi. Article
See, first, tutoring is an act which gets paid for because the tutee is gaining something from the tutor.
Second, I've heard of parents doing the money reward for grades and I think that's twigi too. The money students will get for their grades comes after they get a job with the education they received. And if your children won't take school seriously, you can pay them...with punishment. Take those cell phones and ipods and game systems away. That TV in their room? Gone! Take everything but books, paper, and pencil away, take away the excursions with their friends to the movies, the mall, wherever, take it all, until those grades come back up. Then they can get more than the books, paper, and pencil.
Another item I heard over the radio was about how women are starting to have their bride's maids in their wedding sign Wedding Party Contracts dictating, among the possibilities, a guarantee of no weight gain, a promise to not change hair style, and a promise to not get too liquered up. Hold the stagecoach princess, let me 'splain somethin' here...It may be your wedding day, but that don't make you Lady High Mistress of my life! If you can't trust me, then I shouldn't even be invited, much less in the wedding party. And that's why it's twigi. Why can't they be responsible for their own bride's maid dresses? Who cares if they doing something different with their hair? Trust them enough to not get toasted and start slurring on about all the men you screwed in college. If you can't? Well, you need better friends.
Last twigi news story for this week...a man received 18 years for killing his girlfriend. It's not what he did that makes this news story twigi, it's that it took two years before they prosecuted him...if he was in jail all that time and was innocent, that's wrong. If he was loose and was guilty, that's wrong. Do it quick, get it over with. The fact that he drove around with his grilfriend's body in the trunk of his car, beat her to death with a bat, and was found guilty of MANSLAUGHTER because he was defending himself from his girlfriend, makes it twigi. See, the story is that she attacked him with a fireplace poker, and he retaliated with a bat. Chances are, one hit with the bat wouldn't kill someone in most cases, and worse, the fireplace poker which he was assaulted with was sitting neatly in its stand. So he beat his girlfriend with a bat because that was the only way he could defend himself, and after he killed her, in self-defense because I'm sure she just kept lunging with that poker after each whack of the bat, he then neatly placed the poker in the stand, and loaded the body into his trunk...but it was all self-defense...Now, that's twigi.
Well, thank you for checking out TWIGI. If you agree the world is going insane, then come by next week as I share more evidence that the world is, in fact, going insane. My feature discussion will be about the Presidential Primaries. In TWIGI We Trust: Our Growing Twigiocracy.
posted by Bodog at
4:34 PM
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