Hillary Clinton: Let's Make a Deal

Anyone wonder if everyone is going to get so tired of Hillary and Barack going back and forth that the Democrats lose the 2008 election? Most likely that would put McCain in office, but then a lot of people aren't happy with the Republicans. What we need is a dark horse candidate like James K. Polk way back in the day. I like Wayne Allyn Root of the Libertarian Party, myself. But Libertarians are too conservative to woo disgruntled Democrats. Maybe we need a true dark horse from a veritably unheard of party like the Evil Genius Party.

As you know, I've been bothered by the constant bickering between Hillary and Barack...especially with Hillary's behavior during the whole thing. That does not mean that I don't hold Barack accountable for this Democratic Civil War, but he seems to be playing a little nicer at least.

Well, Hillary's pulling a TWIGI again this week. This, of course, is about her "misspeak" about being under sniper fire in Bosnia. Turns out that no where else can anyone find an account of sniper fire when she arrived in Bosnia in 1996. No news report confirms it, Sinbad, who was on the same trip, doesn't know about what she is talking, and her own book only mentions reports about snipers in the area. But no actual shots fired.

Her response is that she misspoke...well, no...her response was kind of a frantic ramble frequently heard from teens caught telling something that's not entirely true and becoming agitated that they are being questioned and no one is taking their explanations for the not entire truth.

"I went to 80 countries, you know. I gave contemporaneous accounts, I wrote about a lot of this in my book. You know, I think that, a minor blip, you know, if I said something that, you know, I say a lot of things - millions of words a day - so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement."

A little more concern in that voice than what I would expect from a memory blip, to use her term, that could be justified by simply saying, "It wasn't Bosnia? I thought it was there. It must have been at one of the other countries from that string of trips." That I can understand. "It was 12 years ago and I got where the event occurred mixed up." Fine. We all do that.

But here's why it gets twigi. She's not really blaming a mental mix-up. She's blaming the number of words that tumble out of her mouth. Apparently if you talk so much, eventually words that aren't supposed to come out begin leaping out during inapropo stories. But even still, fine, she blames her vocal cords more than her memory...whatever, right? But where did it happen? It wasn't Bosnia. Has anyone looked to see where Hillary flew to and had to run, head ducked, from the plane due to sniper fire? I tried Googling, but I just keep getting this story.

But, she hasn't reneged the story. She still insists she was under sniper fire in Bosnia. And the worst part is, why does it even matter? Does being in a poor, war-torn Southeastern European country and being shot at by snipers make anyone a better presidential candidate? If so, then a lot of people in Charlottesville, Virgina have become better suited to be the president than they were at the beginning of the week. Even if the story was true from the get go, I wouldn't have thought, "Well, she'd be a better president because she got shot at."

I have a morbid fascination with presidents of this country and read books about them all the time. Well, the books are not biographies and such usually...guides I guess talking about each president and his accomplishments and scandals. Books like The Complete Book of Presidents by William DeGregorio, The Secret Lives of the US Presidents by Cormac O'Brien, Presidential Diversions by Paul F. Boller, Jr., and Imperfect Presidents by Jim Cullen. What I've come to learn by the various takes that these men have on our presidents is that...nothing prepares you to be president. Many presidents who had found no success anywhere else become skillful presidents, and some who seemed born and bred to be the ultimate president failed miserably. I think it's not experience that makes a good president. I think it's attitude, and Hillary's attitude...scares me.

Remember...It's TWIGI you can count on...

The twiginess of sex and drugs.

It's an election year, so of course, there are lots of presidential hopeful twiginess, but that doesn't keep other political personalities from showing off their twigi. And people around them are getting twigi, too.

On the local front here in South Carolina, former state treasurer Thomas Ravenel lost his job because of a drug addiction. Ravenel admits to smoking marijuana at 15, snorting cocaine at 18, and using LSD, ecstasy, and other drugs thoughout high school and college. His drug of choice was cocaine using at least 2 grams of coke every couple of weeks. Now, drugs are twigi because our society doesn't seem to take the problem seriously. I mean, take popular media...movies, for instance. How many movies get made based simply on drug use? How many use drug use as a source of comedy? How many of these are rated PG-13? Like Perfect Score? Well, Perfect Score does have the pothead character turn his life around, but then will teen viewers remember the end where he straightens up his life, or the beginning where he is prominently used as comedy relief? But movies like How High, the Scary Movie series, and most teen comedies these days display marijuana use as "just a little fun". It's an escape that has more carcinogens than cigarettes and can be spiked with worse narcotics.

But what really set my twigi-meter off was the newspaper article about Ravenel's conviction. What I found...offputting...is that the article starts off proclaiming how Ravenel used drugs to varying degrees since he was 15 and was still able to earn millions of dollars and get elected to public office. Again, and maybe it's just that as a teacher at an alternative middle school servicing expelled students, I find it bothersome that my students can now use Ravenel as a reason that they don't have to worry about their marijuana use because he was using cocaine and was still successful. I think the tone of the article could have been better set to show how bad his behavior was. I also think his sentence should be worse, because I know my students. "Wha'? 10 months in jail? That ain't nothin'! $250,000? Shoot, he's a millionaire. He prob'ly carries dat in his pocket!"

Then there's Eliot Spitzer. We know all about him and prostitute "Kristen". "Kristen" is really Ashley Alexandra Dupre, who apparently is unhappy with media putting her in the spotlight. Sorry, honey. You can't expect to do something like get paid to have sex with the Governor of New York and not assume that if it's discovered what he's doing, your face won't also be plastered all over the place. Her lawyer is talking about copyright law with pictures being used with news articles. So, would she be complaining if she was getting a percent from the periodicals? There's a complaint about accessing pictures from her MySpace page? MySpace? She says on her MySpace page, "I Keep Seeing Myself on TV. This is Very Strange." "Strange" doesn't sound like she's that offended or distraught over the attention. I'll de-twigi Miss Dupre if she does not accept any of the many offers we all know she's getting to talk about herself, to show herself, etcetera. She's supposedly a musician and if she gets an album offer while this mess is still "newsworthy" and takes it, she stays twigi. If she poses nude in Hustler for the $1 million Flynt is offering, she stays twigi. You can't complain about the attention and cash in on it. But if she takes no money, no offers, and stops selling her body to high profile clients, then she will have convinced me that she doesn't want the attention and she just didn't think things through when Governor Bad Apple called her up. Hell, she needs to learn to get a real job. If there's not a whole lot of growth from this, then she is twigi.

Well, that's all for now. Avoid the twigi, cause the twigi won't avoid you.

Radio Commercials and Marriages...Well, Almost Marriages

In this week's TWIGI, we look at chicken, marriage laws, and fatigue.

I heard in a Publix radio commercial about their chicken being raised on vegetarian diets. I've been trying to find information about what this does for the little guys and I've found this on the Publix website, "All-natural chickens are humanely raised on carefully selected farms in flock houses with an abundance of fresh air, space and light. They enjoy a nutritious, all-vegetarian diet that is totally free of artificial ingredients, artificial coloring, preservatives, meat and animal by-products." But I still don't understand what the point is. They're happier before we fry them...Great.

But chickens are omnivorous. As Wikipedia tells us, "In the wild, chickens often scratch at the soil to search for seeds, insects and even larger animals such as lizards or young mice." I know any shmoe could come along and put some insanity up that came from his drug induces stupor, but I raise chickens and I've seen them do this. I've seen them eat roaches and mice. So some people are artificially controlling the diet of an animal? It may not be putting them in cages and feeding them hormones, but where's PETA? That's twigi!

In Mexico, they've proposed legal contracts penalizing the soon-to-be bride or groom if he or she changes their mind after the engagement is set. I have enough trouble with prenuptual agreements. I mean, if you don't trust the other person enough to assume you'll be married forever...then don't marry that person. But here we are talking about a lack of trust so strong that you're not positive that you'll even get to the marriage day. Also, what if I call off the engagement because I found out she's been sleeping with my 4 brothers, and my boss and his wife, and the bully who picked on me in high school, and my pet goat...but she won't agree to cancel the wedding? Do I have to pay? I know it could probably be written to say there are extinuating circumstances...but I wouldn't want to have to await someone else's judgement about whether or not I have a good enough reason to back out. That's just twigi!

In a related story, a Philippine woman is suing her ex-fiance. Seems he was just about to say "I do" when a woman stepped into the church proclaiming that the ceremony should stop. Seems someone high in the sky has been watching too many Hollywood romances. Anyway, the groom left his bride, hugged the mystery woman, and ran off together. Now she's suing Don Gone for damages. Now, hold the pumpkin, princess. Assuming you and/or your family has put a lot of money into this thing and you have every reason to want that money back. But damages? See, now I draw the line. Yes, it was traumatic. Yes, it was embarrassing. But your asking for $13,500 because he hurt your feelings.

Let's take this a small step further. High school boy takes high school girl to high school prom. Boy and girl have a good time but Other Girl shows up. Boy kisses Other Girl. Everyone sees. She's hurt...embarrassed...Does she get to sue for thousands of dollars?

What if she had left him? Could he sue?

Granted, if you find the right lawyer, you could sue for just about anything. It's about what the judge thinks, or jury depending I guess. So this may be nothing...But if she gets money? Everyone, beware who you date...saying "You're not the one for me" may cost you, and that's twigi!

The woman said she hasn't slept well since December when the incident occurred. And did you know that lack of sleep and poor sleep are the leading causes of fatigue? I heard a radio ad inform me of this. I was shocked! It was for some sleep aid, but I was so surprised that not sleeping or sleeping poorly would actually cause fatigue. Unbelievable! Or well...not.

This is another one of those mind-numbingly obvious statements that your brain actually throws up Duh all over your braincase. Any advertiser for any product who feels he or she needs to ask a question that insults the listeners with the question itself needs to be whipped with a cat-o-nine-tails. Advertisers, did you know that being whipped causes excruciating pain and visible scarring? Did you know asking questions where the answer is obvious is twigi? Now you do.